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A Fraction Too Much Fiction


 Sacrifice - Beginnings...
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It was as though she had been away for a long time and the entire town, her family, had come to greet her on return. Strangely familiar, every face rang loudly with recognition. Around mid afternoon, they’d reached the outskirts of the town where open fields, green and lush, were divided by the road that had become a dirt track. The sea breeze wrapped around, cooling her, energizing and refreshing, and though still unaccustomed to the salty moist air, Cara found herself ever grateful for its gentle touch. As they walked, leaving the town behind, she could now see the full size of her party of escorts.

 

There were five young ladies about her age, always ready to offer her a smile and it seemed that every time she glanced their way, they offered assistance. Cara felt the shame of pride at being embarrassed, and vowed to try to receive their gift of service. She understood what it is to be in servitude and therefore knew it was not a work or a job but a gift in which one flows. Beside her all day, an older woman walked, directing the younger women and to whom the town’s people greeted with obvious affection and respect. When she walked she glided gracefully and the love that radiated through her for each citizen caused Cara to feel ill equipped, gangly and unrefined but strangely, being in the lady’s presence, Cara also found - courage.

 

There were eight men, and Cara guessed they might be middle aged. Half walked before the party and the other half behind. The men ahead were leading to the mountains that rose up out of the earth; great walls of rock jutting out touching the sky reminding her of the sentinels that guarded the plains people. For the first time, Cara felt a pang of sadness, but shaking it off and gathering in her emotions, continued on.

 

The way was steep and slippery but the young women helped Cara enjoy the trek toward the great dark cave. She had grown up on the plains, and the mountain track together with the moist heavy air was no easy task, but her friends were ever watchful and tender towards her so she dare not give up or even show any reluctance during the journey. As they approached the great gaping entrance in the mountain wall, the girls quietened, the mood became noticeably solemn and Cara began to feel anxious. The sun was setting and the day light began to fade. They reached a level part of the slope where the men began putting up tent like structures and the women prepared the evening meal.

 

It happened slowly, quietly at first and not until she lifted her eyes did she notice every person motionless with their full attention on the cave entrance. The sound though muffled, grated on the nerve and as it echoed through the cave. Her blood ran cold, courage drained - yet deep within she quietly recognized a new beginning for this little girl from the plains…

 

 

Posted by Rosie at 2:36 AM - 8 Comments   Add a Comment  
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Comments:

Congradulations on starting your fiction blog, Rosie! I am trying to understand the inherent limitations of the blog format. I think it is like a newspaper column. Short, sweet, and I'll see you next week. But thereis also a tendency for a columnist to continue the story until every drop of blood has been squeezed out of it. Week after week the author tries to bring the next page up to the readers attention, to see how far it goes, how far it can be pushed. It might take a flow chart or a strategy to keep the whole thing together and on course, but it hasn't been done before, pushing the limits of the written page, published a page at a time as it is being written. But it can be done because it must be done. Even if we haven't been through this way before, this is a new way, and someone is going to make it work. It could be you, Rosie, it could be you. At least you have the guts to try it.  
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by Michael (PM , CC ) on Thursday November 23, 2006 @ 2:18 AM




I like your Blog and your story---The other poster was right... a blog post should read like a newspaper column--not personal
things about boy friends and girl friends and family problems.
 
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by MARIS (PM , CC ) on Saturday November 25, 2006 @ 10:15 AM




:)  
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by a moment of lust (PM , CC ) on Sunday November 26, 2006 @ 2:18 PM




I think the more that I read of your writing the more there is something to it that has a beautiful haunting quality. it has the flow of poetry without the rhyme. it is very well crafted. I hope that you continue. thank you Rosie.  
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by Scratch (PM , CC ) on Sunday November 26, 2006 @ 2:52 PM




Scratch is right. Your writing has a lingering effect...You have the ability to share how your characters feel so well that it takes me inside the story....This is a rare kind of storytelling. I really love it.  
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by Coloconnect (PM , CC ) on Friday December 1, 2006 @ 12:05 AM




I agree as well, I am delighted to read your material and feel you should seek to publish it,.  
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by Whispered Promise (PM , CC ) on Tuesday December 12, 2006 @ 10:05 AM




Rosie,
You are a "hopeless romantic" as I heard said of others with your talents. No offense but being a hard headed English/Irishman from the wild west of Texas, I like your other blog better. But what do I know. Your talents are amazing and beautiful in the written word and visual world. Thank you for the kind remarks about my blog and sorry I am just now thanking you. For some reason, your comment just showed up yesterday. Visit anytime, it is an honor to have a talented lady as yourself take time to comment on a blog written by the son of my Dad, a cotton picker from East Texas and the son of me Mother, the Irish lady who raised her 8 brothers and sisters in dirt poor conditions in Oklahoma and later Texas. Then became a beautiful cosmopolitan lady of culture in Dallas, the last bastion of civility from the Mississippi River to the Rocky Mountains. Yes, Texas was wild right up to the 1960's (remember Dallas is where President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in 1963). But, I digress.

Remember the words of the not so famous philosopher, Poindexter McIlhenny, "Everywhere I go, there I am" and so shall I be for now?

Buck Blair III
 
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by Just a Regular Man (PM , CC ) on Tuesday February 20, 2007 @ 3:11 PM




I really like this! Don't ask me how I found your blog, but I love it! Keep writing!  
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by Faerie Child (PM , CC ) on Sunday February 25, 2007 @ 1:45 PM


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   
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